God placed a desire for motherhood on my heart when I was just a young girl. My life goals were always to be a wife and mother! All through my youth and young adulthood I was surrounded children, but always someone else's. I longed for them. I feared that I would never get married! I was 23. That was the year I met my husband at Bible College and the rest as they say is history.
I would have loved to have children right away - however we were counseled to use birth control - "you need time to get to know each other and adjust to marriage." These were sincere godly people so we listened. I just need to insert here that if you don't know your future spouse by the time you marry, something is wrong! Even if you get pregnant on your honeymoon, it will be nearly 10 months before the wee baby arrives! Okay, back to my story.
I felt that somehow my wanting to have was wrong somehow, as everything in our culture said "no!" I had been encouraged by some that God is the one who opens and closes the womb, but the ingrained message of culture took precedence.
We were the parents of three young children, and already receiving comments, when God changed our hearts and brought us to the place where we were open to receiving any children he chose to send to us. We now have 6 children ages nearly 20 to 3 years old. What a joy they are.
I have not always loved my children well. I have been selfish, and self-centered. I have demanded time for me! But God, in His wisdom has used my desire for mothering to sharpen me and turn my heart to my children!
I can think of no greater task, no more important role than that of a mother. I am the molder of my children. I am their primary influencer as we home educate and spend so much time together.
I have seen my children's hearts turn toward me as well. We are close and good friends together. I enjoy my children!
Don't think that it is always rosy at our house. Sometimes I am grumpy and selfish, sometimes they are. Their characters are still being molded into His likeness, and so is mine. However, I wouldn't trade my life as their mother for anything.
One day my dearest ones will be married and parents - how I look forward to this! The joy of seeing another generation of Christ followers!
I guess that is the biggest change in our lives, our focus is one of multi-generational faithfulness and not living for the moment. This has helped me to keep my eyes on the goal, while I wipe noses and change diapers, while I get up early with younger ones and stay up late with the older ones.
It is hard work, the hardest, but it is the best. The greatest job a woman could have. I count myself privileged to be the mother of these wonderful people.