A Thing I Haven't Talked About
My dear friend Tracy commented on my last post that, "you aren't talking at all about what it's going to be like without Lindsay there each day."
She's right. I haven't. It's not that I am so sad and not wanting to face reality, I guess it is because in so many ways life will go on as usual. School with the younger kids, watching Kamryn, cello lessons, piano lessons, meals to cook.
But there will be a place without my firstborn girl in it. She will be happily married and keeping a home of her own. She is going to be working part time for awhile as well, and so we know that even though she is only 10 minutes away, we will likely only see them on Sundays, at least for a while.
I think that it will take time for it to hit me that she's not just away - and I hope that it will hit me as change and not a loss. I know I haven't lost her - the relationship just naturally changes. In some ways those changes will bring us closer as women, and in some ways those changes will rightly separate us. She will now be Joseph's wife, not one of my right hands! She will be doing what we helped prepare her to do. She is ready and excited!
I am thankful for what the Lord has brought along this past year for Lindsay. I am thankful for her knee injury, too, as it caused her to not be able to work for nearly 16 weeks. She was home during those weeks, and we also got to travel to Scotland together! Those extra special days together are a gift that God gave to Lindsay and I!
In a practical way, I am going to miss her cooking, and her nearly always making sure there is a pot of tea. I will look forward to inviting them to dinner, and being invited to their home for tea and conversation. I look forward to shopping with her, and to seeing her furnish her home, and one day prepare for a baby to join their family.
I will likely cry at her wedding - but not selfish, or sad tears but tears of joy and pride. For I am proud of Lindsay and Joseph. They both have chosen well and they have made good choices to honor God with their lives both before the wedding, as well as for their future as well.
Will I miss her? Oh yes! But I am thankful for the 22 years we have had her in our home, and it is right for her to move on to her own family and home. I remember how I was ready for that too, and how 'right' it felt to be joining my life to Tim's. I never want my children to feel badly that they are ready to be adults. I remember my grandma asked Tim and I after we were married for a short time if we weren't sorry that we were married. Did we regret getting married? We weren't and we didn't and we still don't. We are happy to be married. And Lindsay is happy to be marrying Joseph and he is happy to be marrying her!
Our family is expanding. Another branch of descendants is beginning. I hope that one day my grandkids and great grands and great greats will look back and talk about Grandma Dee who loved her family so much, and could plan a good party and shared Jesus with them! I don't care if I do crazy things and they laugh about it because we do that about my grandma and she is remembered with much love and affection.
I can truly say that I am laughing at the years to come! Joy, real joy ahead.