I'm A Gatekeeper

I follow Sally Clarkson on Instagram and Facebook.  I have read most of her books.  She has both inspired me over the years and has been a person who has been a kindred spirit when it comes to mothering.

Mothering is the hardest work a woman will ever do, and it is a noble task.  It requires self sacrifice, late nights (all nights, sometimes), early mornings.  It means training, and persevering.  It means at times offering empathy rather than punishment.  It requires intentionality.

It requires Grace - both from us toward our children and to us; accepting the Grace that God offers us in the moment we need it.

We shape the world as Mothers.  I pray that mothers everywhere will rise up to the task God has given us.

A Lesson Learned From Our 'Mother Hen"

Yesterday Lindsay came over and added chicken wire to the old dog run where we have the smaller chicken coop.  This is where we move chicks when they outgrow the brooder.

These chicks have really done that, but since we have a hen with them, she kept knocking the waterer over in the brooder.  So Tim bought chicken wire and he and Lindsay had discussed how to arrange it and she, with Kyle for an assistant got it all set up.

 You can see that the lighter chicks are getting their feathers.  The little dark one is a week younger than the oldest two.  The third chick was born in between.

 She has been a good mama.

The little chick with it's back to us is the one born in the middle of the week.

I've observed something interesting by watching this hen with her chicks.  We've never had a hen raise chicks before, because we always have just bought chicks.

 They follow her and stay close by.  She moves - they move.  She pecks the ground, they come right where she pecked and peck the ground too.  She is constantly teaching them, pointing out something good to eat - basically teaching them how to be chickens.  The phrase "Mother Hen" came to mind yesterday watching them.  I haven't heard it used in many years but in my mind it had a negative vibe.  Sure enough look at what Merriam-Webster dictionary online says about it - 

mother hen

noun

Popularity: Bottom 30% of words

Simple Definition of mother hen

• : a person who worries about, cares for, or watches over other people in a way that is annoying or unwanted

Source: Merriam-Webster's Learner's Dictionary

Now, in everything I observed the Mother Hen was not/is not being negative in her care of the chicks - she is protecting them, caring for them and teaching them.

It made me think about mothers in general.  This is our role as well, to care for our young, to protect them, and teach them.  Animals of course mature into adulthood very quickly compared with humans so we have our mothering work for much longer.  But these chicks will be good chickens because of the 'mothering' this hen has given to them.

As I observe our society/culture I see many mothers who were not really mothered themselves, and who in turn don't know how to mother.  But they don't really know that.  We can tell by the way that the mothers don't have control of their children, or that they feel they must only be 'pals' with their kids, or many other things we've all observed when we are out in public.  They yell at their children because they are frustrated.  They don't know how to train their children to have self control, to listen, to follow directions, to not interrupt, to sit quietly in a restaurant.

This last one is fresh on my mind because when Tim and I were out on a date last night there was a toddler who kept screaming.  This was not a quiet restaurant, and it is family friendly.  After several outbursts, I said to Tim, "That kid is not angry or having a fit.  He just likes to scream."  You could tell by his tone he wasn't mad.  Unfortunately for us all, his parents didn't train him at home during meals to sit quietly.  And I don't mean not talk or ask for things, but when Nate worked as a waiter many years ago, he said they hated to see families come in.  I asked why and he said it was because the parents just checked out mentally, the kids threw stuff all over, including standing on seats and throwing food around the restaurant!  

I could only imagine the scenes every night in their own homes.  Both Mom and Dad tired after a long day, the kids tired too, and chaos ensues because they don't know how to make it different.

Our young people are in need of mentors.  Someone who can come alongside them and show them that life can be different for their families.  That they can have joy in their relationships with their children, give them ideas of how to make that happen.  I encourage you to reach out to a young mom and walk along side her, be her friend, be someone she feels safe to ask questions because she's not feeling judgement from you.  

Let's be Mother Hens (in the good way) to our young mommy friends.  Some of us who are grandmother's have the feeling that 'we've put in our time and now its time for us' or we've just lost touch with people younger than us - we might be too peer oriented.

They need us!  Let's reach out and encourage them, help them out, be a friend to them.

Can you tell I am passionate about this?

Ponderings

My dear friend Vee, lost her precious husband on Saturday.  On the Sunday before his aorta tore and he was life flighted and underwent 6 hours of surgery.  He was in a coma all that week, and early in the morning on Saturday the 28th, the Lord called that good man home.  I am thankful to be able to say that I met John in person and he was such a kind and gracious man.  I'm looking forward to heaven a bit more now.  Vee - you are loved.


I read a really good blog post on Memorial Day regarding expectations.  You can read it here.  I say a hearty Amen, to her thoughts.


Work on the bathroom stepped up a notch on Monday.  After gathering all we needed on Saturday, I filled holes and sanded a tad and began cutting in the paint in the hall bathroom.  I didn't like it.  It was a bit deeper in color than the color I had taken in to try to match.  I was going for soft and tones of white/neutrals and this was just tan.  Bleh.  I stopped what I was doing and had a phone conversation with Tim.

After he got home from PAINTING a business today, he helped me mix the paint with white paint we already had and we lightened it up and went for it.  It looks different in different light and the main light is off the wall right now so we only have the overhead fan light.  I'll take a few photos along the journey, and we'll see how it turns out.  Its not bad already - its just not exactly what I had in mind.  I'm sure you know what I mean.



Today is Rachel's birthday!  She's 17, so hard to believe!  She is a delight to our family, and we are so thankful for her.  I'm grateful to say that she is not only my daughter, but she is my friend.

I am thankful for the relationship I have with all my girls (including my daughter in law), and with my Mom.  Last night a few of us went to see the new film based on Jane Austen's book Lady Susan.  It's called Love and Friendship, and we laughed out loud in some parts of this movie.  It was very enjoyable and so nice to go out together to see it.

Friendships, between family or friends has to be cultivated.  They take work to maintain and to sustain.  Some are easy, and some are harder, but usually they are worth keeping and investing in.  Of course sometimes, the relationship gets to be one sided, or there are legitimate issues that require you to establish clear boundaries,  or even to end the relationship.  I've had the opportunity to work through some relationships in my life and I've been so glad, that even though it may have been painful, it was worth it.  There have been a few that I had to let go, and that was the right thing to do.  Sometimes its hard to know what the right thing to do is in these situations, but if we walk closely to the Lord and ask Him for his thoughts about it, He is happy to give us direction.

There are a lot more ponderings in this mind - Oh, if you only knew!  But I think that's enough for today.

A Word For Young Mama's

Isaiah 40:11 says 

He tends his flock like a shepherd:

    He gathers the lambs in his arms

 
and carries them close to his heart;

 
    he gently leads those that have young.

 I love the imagery here of God as a loving shepherd, gathering us close to his heart.  I especially love the last line "he gently leads those that have young."

I our culture women are taught that we can do it all, be it all and if we are not there is something wrong with us.  We should be able to work outside the home, volunteer for many things, teach Sunday School, cook meals, get laundry done, have the perfect "Pinterest" ready Christmas decor, do amazing things with the 'elf on the shelf', provide endless opportunities for our kids to participate in or experience all the wonders of the Christmas season.  

I'm here to say YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!

God gently leads those that have young.  Are you allowing yourself to be lead gently?  I know Mama's of many little ones, Mama's who are holding down the fort with preschool, toddlers and a newborn while their husband is on deployment, I know Mama's with kids in school, or who are homeschooling.  This applies to ALL Mama's.

I want to encourage you to opt out of the millions of things to do and pick a handful instead.  Choose a drive through Christmas display and eat donuts while doing it, or go see a school production of the Nutcracker, bake cookies with your kids.  Keep it simple.

Be good to yourselves.  Listen to uplifting Christmas music, after all "White Christmas" is an iconic song and I love it but it doesn't build up my spirit the way Lauren Daigle singing "Noel" does.

Watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas."  It's a classic and it's about learning about the true meaning of Christmas.  Hint: it's not the tree!

Kids love to make memories and traditions, and you as the Mama can decide what those will be.  It doesn't have to be what other families are doing.  You can give grace to yourself and to your family, by not trying to keep up with the neighbors.

 

Make cookie dough up one evening, and pull it out the next day, roll it out and let the kids cut out the cookies.  One year we brought dough we had already made up, cookie cutters, sugars and went to make cookies with our friends.  They had four young kids and a new baby.  The girls and I had so much fun making cookies with them!  It was a blessing to all of us, and we cleaned it all up!  My sweet Mama friend and I got a nice visit in, the kids played and made memories.  It was great and it's one of my kids favorite Christmas memories.

I guess my thoughts today are with you all.  It's a busy season and we can feel compelled to keep up with what others think are "must do's" at Christmas.  I want to encourage you to let Him lead you gently.

A Thing I Haven't Talked About

My dear friend Tracy commented on my last post that, "you aren't talking at all about what it's going to be like without Lindsay there  each day."

She's right.  I haven't.  It's not that I am so sad and not wanting to face reality, I guess it is because in so many ways life will go on as usual.  School with the younger kids, watching Kamryn, cello lessons, piano lessons, meals to cook.

But there will be a place without my firstborn girl in it.  She will be happily married and keeping a home of her own.  She is going to be working part time for awhile as well, and so we know that even though she is only 10 minutes away, we will likely only see them on Sundays, at least for a while.

I think that it will take time for it to hit me that she's not just away - and I hope that it will hit me as change and not a loss.  I know I haven't lost her - the relationship just naturally changes.  In some ways those changes will bring us closer as women, and in some ways those changes will rightly separate us.  She will now be Joseph's wife, not one of my right hands!  She will be doing what we helped prepare her to do.  She is ready and excited!

I am thankful for what the Lord has brought along this past year for Lindsay.  I am thankful for her knee injury, too, as it caused her to not be able to work for nearly 16 weeks.  She was home during those weeks, and we also got to travel to Scotland together!  Those extra special days together are a gift that God gave to Lindsay and I!

In a practical way, I am going to miss her cooking, and her nearly always making sure there is a pot of tea.  I will look forward to inviting them to dinner, and being invited to their home for tea and conversation.  I look forward to shopping with her, and to seeing her furnish her home, and one day prepare for a baby to join their family.

I will likely cry at her wedding - but not selfish, or sad tears but tears of joy and pride.  For I am proud of Lindsay and Joseph.  They both have chosen well and they have made good choices to honor God with their lives both before the wedding, as well as for their future as well.  

Will I miss her?  Oh yes!  But I am thankful for the 22 years we have had her in our home, and it is right for her to move on to her own family and home.  I remember how I was ready for that too, and how 'right' it felt to be joining my life to Tim's.  I never want my children to feel badly that they are ready to be adults.  I remember my grandma asked Tim and I after we were married for a short time if we weren't sorry that we were married. Did we regret getting married?  We weren't and we didn't and we still don't.  We are happy to be married.  And Lindsay is happy to be marrying Joseph and he is happy to be marrying her!

Our family is expanding.  Another branch of descendants is beginning.  I hope that one day my grandkids and great grands and great greats will look back and talk about Grandma Dee who loved her family so much, and could plan a good party and shared Jesus with them!  I don't care if I do crazy things and they laugh about it because we do that about my grandma and she is remembered with much love and affection.

I can truly say that I am laughing at the years to come!  Joy, real joy ahead.

Friendships, Old and New

Last night I had the fun of hosting the ladies from my church.  It was a casual get together - bring a creative project or not - and come.  

I made tea - scones, mock Devonshire cream, homemade lemon curd, homemade strawberry jam.  A new friend, Amy, made cinnamon rolls and cookies and Susanna brought the most beautiful cherries I've ever seen.

Several ladies brought their daughters, too.  Amy brought her only girl Allie - they are new to our church and to this region.  Her husband is starting his residency in Emergency Medicine at Johns Hopkins.  They are far from home and those that they love and it is so lovely getting to know them and helping them to feel connected to knew friends.  We know we are going to love them, sometimes you can just tell.  Bonnie came with Juliet (she was making the sweetest nightgown for her youngest daughter), Kelly came with the neatest paper folding project (she was making cards), Becky and Chelsea came just to fellowship.  Susanna and her oldest daughter Laura brought their drawing pads and proceeded to do the most amazing drawings!  I started a bit of knitting - I have the most gorgeous alpaca wool! Emily and Sarah were here and Lindsay was giving a riding lesson, so for a brief time the younger girls went out to watch the lesson.  

It was such a wonderful time together.  Laid back, very relaxed the conversations went around in small groups, the whole group, and all around.

It is a blessing to share this time with these ladies.  All busy with their homes, and families and some with their own businesses.  Time for gathering is precious and we treasured this time we had.

We did miss the other ladies from our church family - Mindy and Hannah, Brigette, Ruth, Sue, Carol, Grandma Ruth and Georgia, Kim, Sonja.

I am thankful, so thankful for these women and their friendship.  It was delightful to have you in my home. 

Full Weekend

Here are my Mom, myself and my girls at a Mother/Daughter tea that the Women's ministry team from her church sponsored, on Saturday.

It was lovely, held outside at a beautiful home

The tables were simple yet pretty - white tablecloths, a bit of pink tulle, and peonies cut from someone's garden.  The placed a couple of pedestals on the tables with chocolate covered strawberries, brownies, lemon bars and rice crispy treats.

They also had chilled strawberry soup - it had an unusual spice added - cloves!  I had never thought of using cloves with strawberries before.  I don't care for the strong flavor of cloves so, it was not a favorite with me.  Bummer!  I love strawberries!

It was very bright and sunny - so we all had our sunglasses on!

It was also my sweet Momma's birthday!  She is 39 years old.  She says the scary thing about being 39 is that she is now younger than her own children!  Amazing how that happened isn't it?

On Sunday I threw a baby shower for Kayleigh.  My granddaughter is due in 4 weeks!  It is getting close! 

You can see here Emily's Bitty Baby dressed up in a onsie that I embroidered for my granddaughter, and I also knit her wee little cap.  The crib is a gift from our family and my parents (the great grandparents!) to Nate, Kay and Kamryn!  It is a mini convertible crib.  So, so cute!  It converts to a toddler bed then to a single bed instead of a full size bed.  It fits their living space much better than a full crib yet it has all the beautiful styling and design of a full size crib.  It uses portacrib sheets which were hard to find so I bought fabric at JoAnn's and made one!  It is that cute brown and pink polka dot item the dolly is sitting on.  The brown and pink blanket you see, I made to go with the sheet.  I am next going to attempt to make a crib bumper using the left over brown and pink soft material!  What fun to sew for my wee grandgirl who is coming soon!

Of course the girls and I did my usual sweet and savory tea.  Scones, mock Devonshire cream,  homemade lemon curd, mini quiches and Emily's amazing Lemon Bars.  They have an unusual topping that makes them divine, in my opinion!  I will get her to post the recipe and then link to it for you!

Here you can see they pretty table - I used a vintage looking floral fabric on our huge table and added a smaller lace tablecloth on top.

My mom, Kelly from Cozy Comforts, Becky from Hospitality Lane , 

Another pretty view of the table, our punch, which was on the counter, was pink lemonade with Sprite - no water added.  It was a pretty pink color and tangy in flavor!  Of course we had tea. 

Here you can see the crib, next to the Momma to be.  Notice the little girls listening to Kay.

From this view you can see the rest of the guests.  It was special to have mothers and daughters together - showing love and being excited to welcome a new Rabe Babe!

A Great Quote...

This is a granite monument to the Pilgrim Mothers, in Plymouth, MA.

It is inscribed thus...

"They brought up their families in sturdy virtue and a living faith in God without which nations perish."

At the end of my life, I pray someone will say the same of me.

English Apple Pie

Monday was a gorgeous day. It was also the day of a Mom's Meeting for our homeschool co-op. I wanted to take a little treat along, so I made English Apple Pie. Since I had run to the local fruit market earlier in the day, I sat out on the deck with my iced tea and peeled apples. It doesn't take too long, and the end result is worth it. I actually made two, as it is my husband's favorite.
Look at that yumminess!

Here is the recipe so you can share it with your loved ones!

English Apple Pie

Slice 5 or 6 apples into your pie pan. (How many depends on the size of your pan)

mix 1/2 cup of sugar and a teaspoon of cinnamon, and sprinkle over the apples.

Next beat 1 stick of butter with 1/2 cup of packed brown sugar. Mix in 1 cup of flour, 1 tsp cinnamon, and 3 Tbsp of water.

Dollop the topping on top of the apples, and bake the pie on the lowest rack in the oven @ 375 degrees for 45-50 minutes.

This is such a quick way to make pie and is so delicious you may never make regular apple pie again!

The funny thing was that several mom's were so surprised that I made it - one even said "You made it? How did you find the time? Did the girls do it?" I responded "I made it and I also made Potato Cheese Soup for dinner." These are easy recipes, and I mostly cook from scratch. This makes me wonder what other's do for meals, if they think there is no way I could have done this! My girls do cook and even Rachel is being to cook things by herself. I want them to have these skills!

An Article I Appreciated!

Jess at Making Home has a wonderful post on Romans 14 and how it applies to the "Mommy Wars".

Here is the link: Making Home.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

I will be back tomorrow to post photo's from my busy week! It has been fun, and exhausting!

See you tomorrow!

Apples of Gold

I am going to be helping with a mentoring program at church called Apples of Gold. It is set as a 6 week program, but we are going to do it in 12 weeks, as there is so much to study and discuss.

Each week we will be having the study and then having a cooking demonstration and decorating ideas. This is the area I will be "mentoring".

I am not a gourmet cook by any means, but I also think that many of our young wives and mothers will be looking for healthy, delicious, and easy to make recipes. The first week we meet I will teach them to make 2 apple recipes, and then see what it is they would like to learn to do.

I am very excited to be a part of this program. I know there are many young women today who have been prepared to have careers but not prepared for being wives, mothers, and keeper of their homes.

My two teen daughters ages 15 and 13 will be providing the child care for our group. It is great for them to be able to help out in this way, using the skills they have been taught as big sisters to several little ones.

We don't start until September but I have been working on the study portion, meeting with the other ladies who are mentoring. It will be here before you know it!

Scenes from Mother's Day

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon at home. My parents came over and the men and the girls fixed lunch. They made Chicken Braid and fruit salad (yummy, yummy) and jello. For dessert, I made my mother's favorite, a yellow three layer cake with strawberries and whipped cream for frosting!

Here I am with the kids, all except Kyle who was sleeping.

Here are my girlies and I.

Here is my mom and I.

Happy Mother's Day!

allposters.com

These are not my 6 children, but it is the right ratio of boys and girls! I am so thrilled to be their mother and am thankful to the Lord for blessing me so abundantly!

May you all have a wonderful day, remembering your mothers!

The "Worth" of a Stay at Home Mother

A friend's husband found this quote in an article at msnbc.com

If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released Wednesday.

That does not even factor in those who educate their kids at home, disciple other women (mentoring), assist their husbands with their work.

We are doing priceless work when you consider that we are raising the next several generations!

Carry on Ladies!