Or is it all just grief?
Last week a friend of ours died. Barb was the wife of a work friend of Tim's, named Caleb. Fellow believers, they became good friends over the years, and Tim and the kids would help him with taking trees down, or mowing when they were on vacation. We've known them for many years. Caleb has been dealing with limitations after a stroke a year and a half ago, but hearing that Barb went to be with the Lord, was such a surprise. She got a viral infection that went to her brain and was gone in a few months time.
This week we got word that another longtime, dear friend, from our early married days had a massive heart attack and died. He has dear wife, two kids who are married and two teenagers still at home. We were not expecting that.
Then their has been the terror attacks in Britain, the fire that took many lives in London, the terrible attack on our congressmen.
I have gone about my life these last two weeks, busy as usual, being present for my family, shopping for curtains with my daughter, celebrating my granddaughter's birthday - and while I have been living my normal life other people - some who I care about very much - their lives have been changed forever.
I have for a many years lived my life knowing that 'you never know what a day may bring' and that we should live the lives God gave us to live, knowing that HE knows the days that are prepared for us. (Psalm 139:16) One day, my life will be changed by the loss of parents or a child or my husband, or they will be dealing with the loss of me. It's so important to know where you will spend eternity.
So, grief. It is present in my life in way that it wasn't two weeks ago, though I feel like it has become a normal part of life now. Not in a debilitating way, but just more aware that the world is groaning in pain, and that in these days of instant news, we are so aware of every tragedy.
I am praying more than ever these days, and that is a good thing that has come from such events in the world, that we are living through.
I know that God is in control. I know that since I belong to Him nothing comes my way that He does not allow, and that He uses all things to bring us into closer relationship with Him.
Matthew 11:28-30 says - "Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry."
I am sorry for the tragic and sudden loss of your friends...such things are unexplainable and we don't always comprehend how God is at work, though our faith teaches us that He surely is. Praying comfort for those affected and for you a friend who is pondering. As for the world...there is definitely a racheting up and it needs to stop. Some of these things are in our control, though we can only control our own responses and pray. "Oh dear, it's come to this" as John would say.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post! I've lost a couple of friends to cancer and seeing my friend, Reaoma, steadily deteriorate to the point she can't speak or get herself out of a chair has been hard. She's not that much older than I am. All we have is the moment we're in and we continually trust God for the next one. I have been thinking about life and how everything can change in the blink of an eye. That's one reason we are spending more time in the country. Building relationships - or I should say paying more attention to the relationships we have here. Trusting God with his plan or our life is the only way to have peace. I do agree, the world is groaning in pain.......
ReplyDeleteI think you have a point here. Grief in the background--it seems more there than it used to be..or a vague sadness. Something to think about. The final picture--what a beauty.
ReplyDelete"I know that since I belong to Him nothing comes my way that He does not allow"
ReplyDeleteThis is a great source of comfort!
My condolences to you, Deanna. I think grief takes time.
Most definitely there is a darkness covering the land these days so that any extra loss seems extreme. I, too, have been praying a lot more. Especially for my kids and grandkids (even my grandcat).
ReplyDeleteI learned first hand this winter how quickly illness can get worse when the bad cold morphed into that terrible infection. It seemed overnight although it was probably over two days. That increases your prayer life, too! (((HUGS)))
Thank you for allowing us to hear your ponderings. Indeed, the world is a dark place and there is so much sadness all around. Only through Christ do we have hope.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the losses. There is a heaviness for sure as we lost my husband's dad a month in half ago and several church friends as well.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for all of your recent losses, Deanna. How very, very sad. I am feeling the way you describe lately. I also live my life with the never know what today will bring mentally and have been for a very long time...ever since my own dad passed when I was twelve. When you grow up that way, you are always kind of waiting for the next shoe to drop. My mom is in a nursing home now, so every time the phone rings, I jump and last week a classmate of my daughter passed from cancer at just seventeen. That one hit me hard. I get the low level grief thing. Totally. Hugs to you friend...
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