Hospitality, Friendship, Encouragement

Saturday, November 16, 2013

I'm Looking For Opinions….

Wedding planning is in HIGH GEAR here.

I wanted to ask you for an opinion on idea.  Is it acceptable to have a morning wedding and then have a dessert reception scheduled at a different location for mid-afternoon?

The bride and groom are wanting time to do photos with bridal party and family, without having their guest waiting for them at a reception site.  They do NOT want to see each other before the wedding.  Joseph wants his first look at her on the day to be her coming down the aisle.

I think this is acceptable - we would do something like a boxed lunch for the family and bridal party at the photography site, and it would give family a change to celebrate before sharing them with all their guests.

Okay, bring on the opinions.  Would you be offended by the break in time for the wedding and reception?  Would you be offended that their was not going to be a meal?


Rebecca said...

I certainly wouldn't be offended. It sounds like a sane, sensible idea. (I DO wonder if you'll "lose" some people besides family, maybe, between the wedding & afternoon reception just due to busy schedules, etc......)

Becky K. said...

It is their wedding....They should do exactly as they want to do.
I think as long as it is all spelled out in the invitations the guests can decide if they want to return for a dessert reception later. I would definitely make sure that there was time after the ceremony for them to greet each guest, though, since some may not be able to be at the reception due to travel.

tammalammadingdong said...

As I share my opinion, keep in mind that I come from a mindset, era and part of the country where church weddings were followed by a simple reception of cake, punch. I wouldn't be offended by a wedding with no meal but maybe my thoughts don't represent the cultural norm here. I think the people who love the bride and groom and love you will not or should not be offended by anything your bride and groom want to do on their special day. From a practical standpoint, depending on the location of the ceremony and reception, will your guests have somewhere to go between? Realistically, you will probably lose some people between the two events. One solution I can think of is to change the time of the ceremony until right after lunch (1pm maybe?) and have desserts available to the guests at the reception with some entertainment (provided for free by one of your many talented friends, as a wedding gift to the bride and groom?) while they wait for the wedding party. The reception could be done before dinner!
I am so thrilled for Lindsay! This must be a very special young man to have won her heart. I look forward to following this beautiful journey through your eyes :)

sherry said...

I'm in agreement with Rebecca..

ranck5 said...

Here is a really interesting site where families planning weddings are tossing around this issue. They bring up some great points to consider when making this decision. Hope you find it helpful.

The Pennington Point said...

OK so being completely honest wouldn't offend me. But I probably wouldn't attend the reception. Leaving and coming back, kids, etc. It would be too much and I would most likely just attend the ceremony. Sorry! Lisa~

Vee said...

Oh that's a tough one. No, I would not be offended, but I would attend only one event or the other. I'm wondering if there might be an even better solution to the dilemma.

Carol said...

One thing I've learned after watching "Four Weddings" on TLC a few times is that anything goes when planning a wedding & reception. Do what makes the bride & groom happy & expresses their style.


Vee said...

Oh that's a tough one. No, I would not be offended, but I would attend only one event or the other. I'm wondering if there might be an even better solution to the dilemma.

If I have already said this, please delete. I stepped away from the iPad and when I got back this was still sitting here.

Lorrie said...

Long gaps between the wedding ceremony and reception are the norm around here. I accept it, but personally find it frustrating. Do I change out of my wedding finery and then back again? Do I sit around and just wait the day away? If I'm visiting from out of town, where do I go?
However, frustrating as it may be, those who love the couple will deal with whatever is planned.

Anonymous said...

Some Brits have morning wedding and breakfast/lunch. You can do whatever you want really! I had neighbors who wed took pics, changed and then went to reception at another location! I think it is a great idea. Remember whatever Lindsay and Joseph want will be the key here!!

Sarah said...

I wouldn't be offended either; however, I think you will loose a lot of people. I think most will either go to one or the other; simply because what are people suppose to do during that time?

Most might run to get a bite to eat, but if you are serving dessert and other foods, etc. then getting a bite might not be an option. If it was me that was invited, I'd have no idea how to past that time. Read a book? Walk through various stores? I think it puts your guests in a dilemma.

How about dessert and punch after the reception, and then pictures?

ellen said...

I am a Wedding and Event Planner/Caterer. This is a dilemma that has come up many times in my work. And, when you split the ceremony and reception you will lose some people. It will just be too complicated for them to do both. Another thought re the "first look". I, too used to be a firm believer in the first look being when the bride walked down the aisle to meet her groom. But I have changed my mind in the last few years. I have seen some really beautiful first looks. I see them from afar. They are personal and intimate just between the bride and groom, and of course there is a photographer. The pictures are beautiful and it is a private time for just the bride and groom.

Shane Pollard said...

This is a dilemma!
It's such a special day for the two getting married - and their families.
I can imagine it will be a lot of fun for you all being together for the photo shoot and the boxed lunch is lovely idea.

But honestly, I think these wedding photo sessions take far too long.
It’s become more about photos than sharing the day with friends.

I have been to a country wedding where we waited for two and a half hours for the bridal couple to arrive at the reception...
However, after the Church ceremony all the guests went to a nearby venue for afternoon tea and then out to the local Golf Club for the evening reception.
It was a very LONG day.

Ultimately it's their choice - do let us know what happens!

Anonymous said...

I would certainly not be offended if there were no meal. However, if there were a lengthy gap between ceremony and a reception, you would probably lose me after the ceremony. My husband and I elected to provide a little hors d'ouevres reception at the church where we were married while we did the obligatory posed alter photos with family. Then we left as a group with our guests for the true reception at my parent's home. Quite honestly, though, those posed photos are nowhere to be seen in our home and do not mean even nearly as much as the candid moments captured at the ceremony and the reception.

Karen said...

As seems to be the consensus, I wouldn't be offended either but I agree the logistics for guests would be a little tough. An early afternoon time seems like a nice solution. People are willing to wait a bit for pictures and some of them are done ahead of time, even if you can't do the group ones until after.

I think the weddings I have most enjoyed as a guest were the very simplest ones. The more formal and elaborate the preparations, the less comfortable and enjoyable I find it. But, that's just me.

I didn't comment on your last post but I offer congratulations and my very best wishes to Lindsay and Joseph!

Jeanette Levellie said...

It's their wedding; they should do what feels best to them, as the Lord leads them. If it's a morning wedding and the reception is dessert, guests can go to lunch in-between.

Don't worry about offending someone if you don't serve a meal. If they get offended at that, they are silly and shallow. Meals at wedding receptions get very expensive!

P.S. The ladies of our church brought a carry-in meal for our daughter's reception. It was wonderful--all that yummy cooking!

Congrats to the happy bride and groom!

The Old Parsonage said...

I like the idea, however as many have stated, you may loose people in the interim. Our son just got married about 1.5hrs from here. We looked at it this way if people wanted to come, great, it not that was fine too. We just did what the couple wanted - it was their wedding. I'm happy to say that almost everyone invited came.

One thing I recommend is to make it clear - that their is no meal so people aren't expecting it.

Whatever you decide it will be wonderful. I wish them all the best!


Theresa said...

That is a tough one! It always takes SO long to do the photos and the wait between the wedding and reception is not always easy to keep everyone entertained! I wouldn't do the two separate events because like others said in their comments, I think you would lose some of the guests for the reception! Just my opinion! Food keeps people busy while the photos are being taken:) Have a blessed week dear friend, HUGS!

Jennifer P. said...

One of the lovliest weddings I ever attended was that of my best friend growing up. They held their ceremony in her family's local church, then everyone went back to her parents' farm for a bring-a-dish-to-pass lunch while the family went for photos. Then they (the bride, groom, etc.) joined everyone for dessert and some time relaxing together to celebrate. No DJ or loud music, but they did have a stereo available for folks to play some music and dance a little way away from the reception on the lawn.

If there are folks coming in from out of town (or even if they are local), it might be nice to put together some kind of list of places to eat, things to do, etc., so that everyone can find some way to relax and have fun in between. It takes the pressure off and those with young kids might even welcome the break. (I know I would have at my brother's wedding recently - we have three kids under 5 and they could have used a rest in between.)

Unknown said...

Honestly I can see morning wedding, no lunch and gap between wedding and reception causing many people to go to one ceremony or send their kind regrets.

These things are common at weddings much as we like everyone to come and people who are invited want to come.

But the important thing is whether people are able to make it or not for whatever reason is to wish the couple well and pray for them. If people are offended, it is upon them and not you.

Whatever you decide, please know there are blog readers who wish you and the couple well.

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